ALPLAUS UNITED METHODIST CHURCH
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Pastoral Message

2/5/2020

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It’s not new, and it’s not my own writing, but it spoke to me and I thought it might speak to you as well. While researching, I found this at http://ralphmiltonsrumors.blogspot.com, from Chris Duxbury in Australia.  It’s been bopping around the internet for years, and Chris is simply the last person to send it to me.  I’m not sure why I’ve resisted putting it here, but I will trust your powers of discernment because it’s interesting and quite possibly useful to you.
 
Installing Love Tech Support [TS]:  Yes?  How can I help you?
Customer [Cus]:  Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love.  Can you guide me
 through the process?
TS:  Yes.  I can help you.  Are you ready to proceed?
Cus:  Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready.  What do I do first?
TS:  The first step is to open your Heart.  Have you located your Heart?
Cus:  Yes, but there are several other programs running now.  Is it okay to install Love while they are
 running?
TS:  What programs are running?
Cus:  Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.
TS:  No problem.  Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system.  It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs.  Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem.  However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment.  Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed.  Can you turn those off?
Cus:  I don't know how to turn them off.  Can you tell me how?
TS:  With pleasure.  Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness.  Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.
Cus:  Okay, done!  Love has started installing itself.  Is that normal?
TS:  Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.  You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.
Cus:  Oops!  I have an error message already.  It says, "Error – Program not run on external components." What should I do?
TS:  Don't worry.  It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart.  In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.
Cus:  So, what should I do?
TS:  Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files:  Forgive Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.
Cus:  Okay, done.
TS:  Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory.  The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming.  Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.
Cus:  Got it.  Hey!  My heart is filling up with new files.  Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart.  Is this normal?
TS:  Sometimes.  For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time.  So Love is installed and running.  One more thing before we hang up.  Love is Freeware.  Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet.  They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.
Cus:  Thank you, God.
 
Blessings,
Pastor Kristi

 


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